The Storm

Well, this isn't the finish yet but it is the start of the next chapter in the life of a servant of the Lord Jesus Christ, ummmmm, ME! Tomorrow I leave for Africa, four different countries I will set my feet upon, in which I will spend anywhere from 2 nights to 10 weeks. And this is just the beginning - wow!

"We were a people who had left all to follow the Savior and had forsaken all we had of this world's goods to enter a life of faith, and as far as we knew, we had surrendered our lives entirely to the One Who died for us. But He showed us, 'there is all the difference in the world between your surrendered life in My hands, and Me living My life in you." (Rees Howell's Intercessor)

Last night a storm blew through San Antonio. It was loud, it was violent, it was very near to my bedroom window and I was awakened in the dark of night when everyone was asleep, it felt like, except me. And as I lay there, I began to think about all these whom I was leaving behind, all these that I would miss so much and whom I love so much. And I grew sad as the storm raged on. And I heard the still small voice of the Lord, just as Elijah did in that darkest of caves, and He wasn't in the wind, and He wasn't in the rain. The Lord whispered to me, "You are loved and I will never leave you and I have called you so do not fear, for I will be your very great reward." And I settled back down to a still restless sleep for I knew what lay ahead today.

We say we want to present our bodies as a living sacrifice but do we really know what we are saying? Can we really count the cost, for it is great? Will we still give our entire life over to Jesus even when it is uncomfortable and scary and sad, because it will be? What are we really willing to sacrifice? I asked myself these very questions in the night, in the midst of the storm. I asked myself these questions as I packed my bags today. I looked around at the sum total of my present life, strewn about the floor around me. And I have to count the cost, I have to believe it is worth it and I know deep inside that it is.

And I pray, Lord move me to even be willing to let loose of these few things that remain. Move me to covet nothing but the cross. Take me deeper Jesus, take me to where You abide, take me to Your dwelling place. Allow me to look into the sea of humanity, into the faces of Africa, into the faces of God, and see You looking back in each and every one. You formed and fashioned every one of Your creation lovingly in Your likeness. Let me see their loveliness. Fill me full to overflowing with Your precious Spirit to break open wide the atmosphere of darkness so that only Your light shines in every dark place.

Angels of God, listen to Your Maker as He commands you to go before me to prepare the way, to be behind me to take up the rear guard. Wakey, wakey, awaken from your restless slumber in those places of your assignment. Bring fresh wind to a dry and parched land, fresh water to those who are thirsty. Send Your rain Lord, send Your rain!

One of my students wrote me a letter today to say goodbye. She is one of the quiet ones, one of the restless ones. She told me that after reading my blog and hearing me talk about the Lord, well, she realized that time is short and it was time to seek God. He touched her heart right here in a public school in the midst of their storms. America's high schools, probably the hardest mission field. It was my training ground, they taught me how to love deeply because they have needed it so much. I love you my cadets, you will always be my kids, always. And I carry you with me to the plains of Africa, always in my heart. And so I go to that great dark continent, and I go as a humble servant asking God, take me lower still, lower still.......